09 December 2007


It is my personal belief that there is simply not enough honesty in the world. Or maybe just my world...that's a possibility.

Regardless, I find myself caught between people who can tell the truth but won't and people who can't tell the truth to save their souls.

For example:

I have a friend who is currently lying her fool head off about something that happened because she doesn't want to hurt the other person by telling them the truth. In my opinion you do far more damage by lying to someone about something that happened instead of just fessing up to the truth. Why is it not worth it for people to tell the truth about something? Wouldn't you want the truth told to you?

Another example:

I have a friend who told someone a lie which was hurtful to them to avoid telling them the truth because she thought the truth would be much more hurtful. Yeah if you're confused on that one you're not alone there. Tell a lie that hurts because it hurts less than the truth?

Noooo tell the truth that hurts and if they get over it they get over it.

I would rather have the truth. I'll take the truth and hurt over it any day. If you think you are sparing me by lying, you're not. I am much more hurt by people who lie to me than I am by people who tell me the truth.

07 December 2007

Finals are Finally done

So let the cards fall where they may, I'm done for the quarter. So relieved. This quarter has been hell and then some for me.

Thankfully, I have a lighter schedule next quarter and less stressful classes. I hope I don't ditch as much as I did this quarter though because that did me in. I would have done much better on my finals had I not ditched so much.

So regardless, out with the old, in with the new =).

05 December 2007

Manipulate this!

I am not sure what pisses me off more about manipulation. The fact that someone is that stupid that they would manipulate me, or the fact that someone thinks I am that stupid that I would fall for it.

Either way, it chaps my ass every which way but Sunday to be manipulated.

I have a "friend" <--- note the loose term there

This manipulative little .... I need to read the ToS here to find out how much swearing is allowed in these things...anyway.

This manipulative little fine example of what a woman should NOT be manipulates and uses every person she can come across. Now I don't know if she's genuinely convinced that she's not lying or if she's just that stupid that she thinks everyone else around her is that stupid.

She concocted this elaborate lie that is so unbelievable you almost wonder if it's true because there is no possible way she would think you that stupid that you would believe it.

Now I see her log onto messenger and I just want to PUKE at the site of her name. I avoid talking to her whenever possible and everytime she manages to corner me it's woe is me omg my life is so horrible I'll never get over this fantasy event that I made up to cover up my other lies and manipulations.

It should be legal to beat the crap out of people. Seriously. You should be able to walk into court and say "your honor I beat her ass for being completely and totally stupid"

Thankfully she doesn't read here or I swear to God she'd make this all about her.

Problem is, I'm decent friends with her S.O. ...ugh. So I tolerate her because his friendship is worth it to me. /thud

Meanwhile, while I'm on the topic of manipulative people....I have another friend (I am telling you, my friend picking out skills are not the win) who is such a mess all the time and I am the one who has to deal with their crap all the time.

It's okay, I don't mind dealing with other people's crap but whenever I have crap to deal with, they are nowhere to be seen....EVER. I think I've been able to call them with a crisis maybe 10 times since I've known them. Whenever they call though...I'm there for them. Well except lately, with school this quarter I just haven't had time for it.

So blah.

Manipulative people should go live with each other on deserted islands where they can practice manipulating other manipulative people and leave the people who want to be genuine alone.

04 December 2007

Aaahh the good life

Sometimes, it's just really difficult. It's difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel when there is so much CRAP piled up between you and the tunnel.

They (no idea who "they" are, but "they" are) say that it is worth it in the end. You sacrifice so much of yourself and so much of your time and energy but in the end, it is all worth it. Is it?

I miss easy. Am I being unreasonable? Probably, I usually am. Easy, you used to be part of my life, and I miss you. I miss going to bed whenever I want and getting up whenever I want. I miss watching TV when it is on instead of Tivoing it for later when I have "time". I never have time these days. I miss you too Time.

So I'm working my ass to the bone and I feel like I'm on a treadmill here. Running and running to no end. I'm tied to this treadmill and I need someone else to get me off of it, but they aren't home. They're in their own little world watching me run thinking "Wow she's such a hard worker". Yeah, I'm a hard worker. So stop the world now, I want to get off.

Stayed up 24hrs to take a final this morning. After my final I cried my way down the elevator and to the car and then I called my boyfriend like everything was fine. I'm so exhausted. I have another three finals tomorrow. One I haven't started and I know it's at least 18hrs of work. I just don't give a fuck about it. The other two I have a hope of passing so I'll study for those. So another all nighter....but then I'm done with this quarter and good or bad, the cards will fall where they must.

I know, these days will pass. I know, this is all temporary. I know. I know. I know.

What happens when you get to the end? Who is there? What is there? What do you do at the end? Obviously you don't get to go back to easy, because you just did all of this work to get there. So you start over?

I need a vacation. I'm leaving in a couple of weeks for my sister's house and I'm going to be a cocoa drinking, non-showering, no bedtime fool.

I dare you to say something about it.