07 March 2009

Lessons from the Gas

So I was on laughing gas Thursday to get my tooth pulled. It didn't make me laugh any more than I usually do, but that would be pretty hard to do anyway, since I spend a good portion of my time laughing.


What it did do was affect my ability to give a crap about what was going on around me. This was difficult for me, because I like to be in control of myself at all times. I hate crying in front of people, I don't like not knowing what I'm doing, and I despise not being able to control what people are doing to me.


So I'm on the gas, completely relaxed (which was nice for a change) and realized that I didn't care. I wasn't worried. They were pulling my teeth out and it didn't bother me one bit. There were some complications with one tooth and there was a bit of a panic over it, but I didn't care. The tooth ended up coming out, they got the spare bone (and took out some of my jaw in the meantime) and I was sent on my merry way with some pills, gauze, and a really nasty mouthwash.


One of the things I learned while on this gas was…..it didn't matter what my reaction was to the crisis, the crisis happened and resolved itself without me. So there was some panic over my tooth, but it didn't matter whether I was able to freak out about it or not. It didn't change the outcome.


Sometimes things settle out without your permisison, or control.


04 March 2009