20 June 2011


Well 2011 has been a crazy time. I figured why update on Facebook or Twitter where I am limited to a certain text amount. So here I am with my massive update. Some of you may know what's been going on and some may not so if I bore you with the deets, sorry.

2011 started slow enough...for my pace. I was working full time going to school full time and interning part time. Then I needed a hysterectomy.

My surgery was Feb 4, I got fired from my job for having surgery Feb 8. Feb 21 I went in and was cleared for driving by my doctor, Feb 21 I left for Wisconsin because Dad was declining in health and on Feb 24, he passed. Funeral March 1, came back home and my former employer was fighting unemployment.

Originally they stated they would not be fighting unemployment because I was being released from work for medical reasons. Not only did they fight it, but they continue to fight it. They've appealed twice and now are requesting a hearing which I have later this month. RIDICULOUS. I am not in the habit of badmouthing companies because I understand what it is like when you have to put the hammer down on someone, but this company takes the cake. My first day of work with them was "here is your caseload go have fun, your supervisor is on vacation for a week." They expected me to work 14 hour days in order to meet their obscene requirements for productivity and then when I did do that my supervisor encouraged me to quit stating "This is costing you too much time with your family."

Regardless, they fired me for having surgery. First they stated they didn't fire me that I was medically unable to work. They lost that appeal. Then they stated they didn't fire me, I quit. They lost that appeal. NOW they are requesting a hearing stating that they did fire me, but it was for being a bad employee. Again...ridiculous.

I'm learning a lot though, I will say. I'm learning how not to treat people, how not to supervise, and how not to run a company. All good lessons. I am also learning patience.

I graduated from grad school May 5th. Thank you to everyone who came for the ceremony and shared in my excitement with me. It is a big scary world out there but now I have a masters degree to carry with me.

So the original goal was that I would take May off and focus on The Griffin Center. We were shooting for a June 1 opening in Canton, OH.

God had other plans.

In May my hard drive went on an unannounced vacation. There went my business plan that I had worked a year on. Thankfully I was able to recover that document from someone I had sent it to for a looksee. Also in May I received notice that my unemployment was again under review...(see above). So at the end of May I turn to Doug and say "Okay next week is it! My business plan is almost done, the 501c3 filing is almost ready (the state sent back a document that they needed fixed before I could proceed with that), I'm officially off of vacation next Tuesday!"

The next day, my ex loses his job. Bye bye child support, hello sheer terror and panic.

So now, I'm looking for work, putting Griffin Center on hold again (waiting for God's timing this time), my ex has moved into my house while he looks for work in Ohio, and life goes on!

Oh my hearing for unemployment is next week. I'm hoping to have a job by then. It would be nice to win though, but I'd rather not need unemployment at all. It is far more fulfilling to be working than it is to collect unemployment. This is only the second time in my life I've been on unemployment though and I have to say I am extremely grateful that it exists.

As for my former employer....I know God will handle their dishonesty and poor business practices...in his own time.

Thanks for hanging in there peeps...thanks for the support and prayers and love and thoughts and phone calls and offers for help. Each and every single one of you are all very appreciated and loved.

22 April 2011

Light at the end of the Tunnel

So here we are! Grad school is almost done...can't believe it is almost over, seems surreal.

I took my license exam yesterday and passed which is also not really real to me yet. I guess when I get my license in the mail it will seem real, maybe not.

Isn't it weird how you go through life and work your way through something and you get there and then you're like...huh...I'm here...I thought it would feel more real than this that I'd be relieved or emotional or something. Instead I'm kind of like...huh...okay...good deal.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled and excited but you kind of imagine getting to the finish line and collapsing in some sort of dramatical display while fireworks boom in the distance and the crowd goes wild...lol.

Anyway! YAY! I'm here...I made it...I think. Someone pinch me!

15 February 2011

One week

It has been a week since surgery and I am feeling really good...everything is healing well and I was able to return to school today...which is fantastic.

I ended up getting fired for getting surgery, but it wasn't a surprise. They told me at the beginning they couldn't/wouldn't accommodate the leave request and in the end, they didn't.

At the end of the day, it is truly for the best. My workload was way too high and my family was paying the price for it. Now I can relax a bit more and focus on getting through school. Of course I'll still be submitting my resume for jobs, but at least now I can take a break while I job hunt.

In other news, today is Valentine's day which is also my anniversary.

It is weird, I had a dream about my ex awhile ago and in it, we were discussing the end of our relationship. At one point, he turned to me and said "When did you stop loving me?" I replied "I never did, I just stopped trusting you."

When I woke up, it hit me how true that was. I really do still love my ex, I care about his well being and happiness as I would any other member of my family...I just don't trust him.

I felt better then...that I had answered that question for myself I guess.

I feel more prepared to actually make him my ex but he says he is still not ready. I would like my old name back...

I still feel like I'm not doing this whole parenting thing very well...my friends assure me that this feeling passes in about 20 years LOL.

26 January 2011

The hardest job I've ever had is being a mom

I can't get this right. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and honestly I am tossed between feeling like a complete jackass and feeling like I'm doing a halfway decent job.

Between having class and internship and working full time, it is almost impossible to schedule time with my child and I know it is having a negative impact and I can't change it. I feel like a jerk begging her to be patient and wait and telling her that this will be over soon....she didn't ask me to go back to school, she didn't ask me to take this job, she isn't in control of any of this.

Is it too much to ask of her? Definitely. It isn't fair to an 11 yr old that her mom isn't home most of the time.

I wish people had been more honest with me. I wish people would stop saying "I understand" and actually understand.

I wish I had been more honest with myself.

I hope one day she forgives me.

12 January 2011

Upcoming Surgery

So I'm having surgery soon and if I said I'm not nervous that would be a big fat lie... but I have found a website that is very helpful. I'm pretty much checking it each day reading lists of Do's and Do not's, checking on how other people have fared from surgery similar to mine and all of the other information available on this website.

Thought I should share this with you guys here so you can keep it in mind if you ever need support!

Hysterectomy Support

05 January 2011

Loss of Intelligence

So today's funny:

I was at the doctor's office going over my options for treatment. My doctor recommended we dispense with the dramatic attempts to save my uterus and go for the hysterectomy to end the problems with the least amount of risk of requiring further surgery.

So while she's describing what will happen and how the procedure works, etc...she states "We're going to do whatever we can to keep the ovaries in there. That way you won't have to take HRT and you won't become a man."

My reply: "Awesome, I don't know if I could take the hit to my intelligence"

Doctor....long pause... "Oh! hahahaha it took me a minute to get that"


02 January 2011

Life is funny

Every day there are hilarious things that happen to me and I'm going to post those things here. You may find them funny, you may not, but I do :)

Today's funny:

My friend and I were at a friend's house to meet her new doggie. She has adorable children. They were playing Mario Kart with my friend and my friend was losing. The younger child, a boy (6), paused the game and came over to my friend and very seriously said "You're going to have to go faster if you want to win this."


01 January 2011

Happy New Year

Well it is a new year again. Is it just me or does it seem like these years go faster?

This is my last semester of grad school, I graduate in May. I'm excited to be done but this experience has been nothing like I expected it to be.

I half hope this year is better than 2010....2010 started out great, I was doing okay, the business was increasing again, things were looking up, lived in a great community, etc. It seems like it sort of hit the fan in August/September and went sharply downhill from there.

I've learned a lot, I've laughed a lot, I've cried more than I wanted or needed to, and I've loved a ton...so I guess it isn't too bad all things said and done.

I hope 2011 brings more laughter, more love, and more learning. I could use a little less tears :)