11 April 2014

Not perfect but I'm perfectly me

Perfection in human beings is not possible. We cannot be perfect. We will make mistakes and we will learn important lessons from those mistakes. When people cannot accept those mistakes and love us anyway, they fail to return what we are giving them. (If we are giving them that kind of love and acceptance)

Loving someone isn't loving them because they are perfect, it is loving them because they aren't.

When I truly love someone, I find their imperfections acceptable. Yeah, I get irritated, just like anyone else (because I'm not perfect bitches) but the good outweighs the bad and even on days when it doesn't, I make the CHOICE to love that person anyway.

This is why I have the 18 month rule. If I'm not going to remember why I was pissed and still be pissed 18 months from now, it is rarely worth getting pissed over today. (Yes sometimes I fail to apply that rule, lol)

I'm not perfect. I don't want to be. That's too much pressure. Sometimes it is nice to just be balls to the wall crazy (not psychotic crazy, like a kid on cake crazy) it is nice to say something so completely inappropriate you laugh hysterically at the idea of it coming out of your mouth.

But when it is especially nice to not be perfect is when I can show weakness and vulnerability. When I can curl up in my closet and lose my shit over the shitty week I've had and the voice on the other side of the phone is telling me all the ways I can get through this...and all the ways I already have. When I can break down and have someone else pick me up.

That is when I am reminded that I don't have to be perfect. There truly are people out there who will love and support me regardless of the gap in my teeth, the blood clot in my chest, and the fact that I'm not 150 pounds. People who don't mind that I cry sometimes for no flipping reason and lose my temper because I got cut off in traffic. People who don't expect perfection from me because they know they aren't perfect themselves.

I am not perfect. I don't want to be. I am perfectly me though. I am kind and gentle and caring and beyond generous. I am fearful and insecure and have a trigger temper. I will be dramatic and whiny when I'm sick (and sometimes when I'm not). I'm okay with that. If you're not...you know where the door is honey.

Be gentle. Be kind. Belong. Be forgiving. Be imperfect :)

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