Sometimes, it's just really difficult. It's difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel when there is so much CRAP piled up between you and the tunnel.
They (no idea who "they" are, but "they" are) say that it is worth it in the end. You sacrifice so much of yourself and so much of your time and energy but in the end, it is all worth it. Is it?
I miss easy. Am I being unreasonable? Probably, I usually am. Easy, you used to be part of my life, and I miss you. I miss going to bed whenever I want and getting up whenever I want. I miss watching TV when it is on instead of Tivoing it for later when I have "time". I never have time these days. I miss you too Time.
So I'm working my ass to the bone and I feel like I'm on a treadmill here. Running and running to no end. I'm tied to this treadmill and I need someone else to get me off of it, but they aren't home. They're in their own little world watching me run thinking "Wow she's such a hard worker". Yeah, I'm a hard worker. So stop the world now, I want to get off.
Stayed up 24hrs to take a final this morning. After my final I cried my way down the elevator and to the car and then I called my boyfriend like everything was fine. I'm so exhausted. I have another three finals tomorrow. One I haven't started and I know it's at least 18hrs of work. I just don't give a fuck about it. The other two I have a hope of passing so I'll study for those. So another all nighter....but then I'm done with this quarter and good or bad, the cards will fall where they must.
I know, these days will pass. I know, this is all temporary. I know. I know. I know.
What happens when you get to the end? Who is there? What is there? What do you do at the end? Obviously you don't get to go back to easy, because you just did all of this work to get there. So you start over?
I need a vacation. I'm leaving in a couple of weeks for my sister's house and I'm going to be a cocoa drinking, non-showering, no bedtime fool.
I dare you to say something about it.
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